


Do Tell, Dearest Lupin

by Mokubahv



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Cute, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 18:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mokubahv/pseuds/Mokubahv
Summary: Lily knows what Remus is hiding. Remus has no idea what Lily is talking about...or does he? When this revelation comes to light, Sirius is faced with some hard decisions.





	1. Do Tell, Dearest Lupin

It was a beautiful day in late spring at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The weather was beginning to warm up, hinting at the promised summer heat. There was still a healthy breeze that beckoned the students to come outside on this Saturday afternoon. The grounds quickly filled with laughter, gleeful screams, and chatter, as almost every student took advantage of the perfect weather.

Only the most studious of teenagers would be caught inside on a day like this. It came as a surprise to none, however, that the fourteen-year-old Remus Lupin chose to be cooped up in the school's library, a precarious pile of textbooks, scrolls, and inkwells covering the desk where he worked.

_Year 672: War between Black Toe Goblin Tribe and Codswallop Goblin Tribe - Led by Captain Tort the Stout and Chief Bogwater – Lasted three weeks – Black Toe Goblin Tribe won; Year 673: War between Red Soot Goblin Tribe and Yellow Sand Goblin Tribe – Led by Colonel Palloptinai and Captain Shi the Shy – Lasted 17 months – Ended in a complete massacre._

A frustrated groan escaped Remus' lips as he rested his head into his hands, rubbing at his temples in exhaustion. His amber eyes fluttered closed as he tried to refocus his energy on the incredibly boring assignment that sat in front of him.  _'Goblin Wars has to be the most useless and grueling subject to learn.'_

Remus loved learning, he really did, but this assignment was simply beyond brutal. Ruffling through the notes that had been written in his careful script, he saw that he had already completely filled four scrolls and was nearing his fifth, and Remus still had another forty-two years to cover for their end-of-year assignment.

How did Professor Binns expect the students to memorize all of these pointless wars? Why did it even matter in the slightest which tribe won anyway? Did it make a bit of difference in the wizarding community if Pogma the Podgy was wrongly accused of abducting Chief Yanco's son in year 592 resulting in the bloody battle between the Bumble Goblins and Horn-Tail Goblins for three nights before Chief Yanco's son was discovered having fallen into a well by no one's fault but his own?

Yet for some clearly masochistic reason, Professor Binns instructed the third year class that they were to recite all the wars from year 587 to year 715 in front of the class in order to pass the semester with perfect marks. What kind of sadistic teacher would inflict this torture on their poor students? It was completely cruel and unjust punishment in Remus' opinion.

"Hey Remus," a friendly voice broke through his mental gripings, forcing a polite smile to immediately replace his frown.

He looked up to see a head of ginger hair with bright green eyes peeking over the mountain of books he had piled in front of him as Lily Evans sauntered over. An excuse to stop studying for a few minutes was exactly what he needed at the moment, and his polite smile easily grew into a more welcoming one. "Good afternoon, Lily. Please, have a seat."

A tinkling laugh escaped her lips, "Why do you always act so medieval?" She pulled out the chair to his left and sat down beside him. Upon seeing the confused expression on his face, she explained, "No one says, 'please, have a seat', anymore."

Remus shrugged in indifference. It mattered little to him that people seemed to enjoy forgetting manners. "Such a shame, that. It is truly a fun phrase to say. You should try it sometime."

Lily giggled again before donning a more serious expression, clasping her hands together on top of the wooden table. "So, I actually came to this secluded section of the library for a specific reason."

He rose an eyebrow in interest. "Oh?"

"You see, when I didn't see you out by the lake with your friends, I knew I would find you here."

When Remus didn't reply, Lily leaned in close, her almond-shaped eyes intense.

"There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. Alone."

Remus inched back a little, his expression skeptical. "You're not coming on to me Lily, are you?"

Her brows furrowed in confusion. "What? No! No, I – of course not!" She shook her head, trying to refocus her mind on the issue at hand. " I mean, it's something else. I've discovered something, Mr. Lupin," she said in a more serious tone.

There was a long pause and, when Lily didn't show any signs of continuing, Remus decided it best to satisfy her with a response. "What is it that you discovered, Miss Evans?" he asked, imitating her tone.

Before elaborating, she looked around the library carefully to ensure no one was eavesdropping. He watched with mild amusement, wondering what could possibly be so scandalous that no one was allowed to hear. This was  _Lily_  after all, and everyone knew Lily did not gossip, let alone do anything for that matter that could be considered 'frowned upon'.

She looked up at him with suddenly very sharp eyes. "I know," she said in barely more than a whisper.

Remus breathed a laugh. "Know what?" he asked, not bothering to lower his voice as she had done.

"No, you weren't listening."

He rose an eyebrow.

"I  _know_." She glanced over her shoulder again before locking her emerald eyes back on his amber ones. "I know your secret."

Remus' gaze instinctively hardened. There was only one thing he could think of that she meant, but certainly that couldn't be the case. He forced himself to relax. Most likely Lily was talking about something else or had misunderstood a situation. There was no way she had discovered his secret; he had been so careful with hiding it.

"I know you've been careful to not let anyone find out-"

Remus froze mid-thought, his eyes widening marginally as his breath caught in his throat.

"-and I really didn't mean to pry into your personal affairs, but I just sort of noticed. I mean, if you pay attention to the way you act sometimes, it's kind of obvious."

He could feel the blood slowly drain from his face and was certain he was beginning to resemble a ghost. Lily had discovered what he is, and she was going to report him, and he would be executed. He had thought she was his friend, but it was clear from her expression she was nervous. Was it nerves though, or was it fear? It had to be fear. Only someone stupidly brave like James or Sirius would be able to look at a werewolf and not be afraid.

"You get so irritable and snippy sometimes without any obvious stimulation, and then there's those days when you won't eat a scrap of food all day, but other times you gorge excessively like an insatiable dog that was given free-reign at a buffet."

Remus examined Lily closely, wishing now more than ever that he could read minds. He wanted so desperately to know what she was thinking. Maybe he was being irrational thinking she would want him executed? She was usually a sweet person and, if that was her plan, why would she intentionally approach him in a mostly abandoned library? Unless she wanted to commit the deed herself?

"And then you make those monthly visits to your 'sick mother' which you always come back from looking sick yourself."

"Lily-," he started, his voice straining against the will to break. He hoped so desperately that maybe, just maybe, she could look past this. Lily was the first real friend he had made, and the thought of her being afraid of him was just too terrible to even comprehend.

She shook her head, setting a hand on top of Remus' reassuringly. "Remus, it's okay. I'm alright with it."

Remus' jaw dropped, eyes bulging as he gaped at her in a most unattractive manner. Certainly he hadn't heard Lily correctly. As sweet of a person as she was, how could she be willing to so easily look past Remus turning into a blood-thirsty beast once a month? "You are?"

"Of course! You're my friend, Remus," Lily replied, beaming at the boy. "I'll accept you no matter what."

Remus let out a huge breath he didn't even know he had been holding. "Lily, I – thank you."

In hindsight, he supposed he should have expected no less from her. She truly was the most kind-hearted and intellectually sound girl he knew. Even if she was worried about his condition, she certainly would have done her research and would be well aware that he isn't dangerous on a day-to-day basis.

"I  _am_  sorry I pried into your personal life. I just couldn't help but notice, you know?" She smiled sheepishly, and a soft blush bloomed along her cheekbones.

Remus shook his head dismissively. "You won't tell anyone, right? Please keep this between us Lily."

"Of course I won't tell anyone!" she exclaimed as if the thought itself was scandalous, placing a hand over her heart in an affronted gesture.

Remus flushed in response, berating himself for doubting her discretion. He did know Lily well enough to know she would never spread rumors around, especially something as damning as him being a werewolf.

Lily gazed at him with concern heavy in her eyes. "I mean, it's bad enough to be outed in the muggle world, and, from what I've read, it's far worse in the wizarding world. There's even several accounts of people being killed for it."

Remus nodded solemnly, "Yes, that is true-" He cocked his head to the side as he processed her words. "Wait – _muggles_ know about what I am?"

"Well, yeah," she laughed as if it was the most ridiculous question ever. "They aren't completely arrogant, you know!"

"Oh," he said, his voice thick with confusion. "I just thought that muggles would assume we were fantasy or folklore or something. You know, like unicorns."

A most unladylike snort came from Lily as she tried to cover up her laugh. "People from magical families think the silliest things." She shook her head in amusement, a kind smile settling on her face. "So, does anyone else know about you?"

Remus nodded his head, chewing on his bottom lip. It was a weird sensation talking so openly about this with someone that wasn't either a marauder or his parents. "Yes, but only a few people."

"Who, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, there's my parents."

"Really? And they're alright with it?" Lily's expression held an odd mixture of surprise and relief.

"Yes. I – I know my mother is accepting. My dad - he struggles - but he doesn't hate me for it at least. That's more than can be said for most people like me. They're usually disowned or worse."

She nodded sagely, a fleck of darkness entering her eyes. "Well, I'm glad you're parents are supportive. Is there anyone else? Anyone here at school I mean?"

"Well, I know that Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall know for sure. Then there's Madame Pomphrey as well, of course." Remus noticed confusion beginning to settle into Lily's expression. "I do not know if any of the other teachers know, but James, Sirius, and Peter found out about me last year."

"Wait a minute," Lily said, holding her hand up. " _Black_ knows about you?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "Well of course he knows. He's my best friend."

"And he's fine with it?"

"Yeah. I mean, he was surprised at first, of course, but he was accepting after James talked him around."

"So Black knows you fancy him?"

"Well, yeah – wait – what?!" Remus froze, his eyes wide for the second time this afternoon. "What about me fancying Sirius?"

"You just said that Black knows you fancy him."

"When did I say that?" He was completely dumbfounded. How did Lily discovering his lycanthropy suddenly turn into him being a poofter crushing on his best friend?

"Just now. I asked you who knew about you, and you said that Black knows."

"Wait – so you think I am smitten with Sirius?"

Lily stared at Remus with an expression that screamed bafflement. "Well, yeah. You're always watching him, blushing when he touches your shoulder, and going to him for advice. Whenever he flirts with a girl across the room, you'll run off, and you always get so snippy when you see him snogging someone. Then every time he decides that some lucky girl is his 'next real girlfriend', you practically starve yourself, refusing to eat anything on your plate. If he gets injured doing some  _stupid_  stunt on the Quidditch pitch, you get so worried you completely gorge yourself with all the chocolate and other sweets you can get your hands on, even going so far as to growl at anyone that tries to take the last treacle pudding. If Potter or Pettigrew invite you to join them in a game, you generally decline in favor of doing your school work, but if _Black_  asks, you'll drop whatever you're doing without batting an eye. Your face just lights up whenever he smiles at you, and you'll practically do anything he asks you to do. I have no doubt that if you weren't interested, you wouldn't participate in all of those harebrained pranks Potter and Black come up with."

Remus flushed a spectacular shade of crimson.

"I also know that when you go off to 'visit your mother', you're really just trying to get away from Black, because those are always the nights he has one of his lady friends in your guys' dorm doing Merlin knows what with her. I mean, you're obviously smitten with Black, Remus."

Remus was beginning to wonder if it was possible to die from having blood remain in one's face for an extended period of time.

"I have to admit that I am surprised Black is so accepting of your feelings for him. I'd imagine he would harass you for fancying him, or maybe even try to take advantage of you sexually." She chewed on the side of her mouth with a thoughtful expression. "Though it does seem like he would be opposed to the idea of shagging a guy with how much he enjoys female company."

Remus shook his head, mortified by Lily's train of thought. "I do not fancy him, Lily."

She rose a delicate eyebrow. "Of course you do!"

"No Lily, I do not. I am  _not_  gay." Remus crossed his arms defiantly. He knew she was wrong in her accusations and he refused to let her manipulate him with her stupid logic.

Lily frowned. "Then why were you agreeing with me about there being such a scandalous secret? What were you so afraid of me telling everyone about?"

All the blood that had been occupying Remus' cheeks for the past three minutes immediately retreated, leaving a pale and wide-eyed face staring at the redhead in horror. Remus cursed himself for not thinking before speaking as he always prided himself on doing. Denying her conclusion would lead to speculations that, should this clever girl decide to investigate further, would lead to her discovering something far worse than suspected homosexuality.

"Well? Come on, Remus. Spill it."

The only response he could muster was a loud gulp.

" _Lupin?_ "

She was using _that_ tone. The tone that a mother would use when her child was misbehaving. The very same tone that Remus was certain some poor young kid down the road would be loathe to hear. It promised punishment would come swiftly if the party in question disobeyed.

"I  _said_. Spill. It."

Slowly the blood returned to his cheeks as he realized what he needed to do. "Fine," he sighed. Remus made sure to avoid her eyes, knowing she would undoubtedly be able to read the lie in his eyes as he spoke. "You are right, Lily. I just didn't want to admit it. I fancy Sirius."

Lily beamed, pumping her right fist in the air as a soft squeak of excitement filtered through her lips. "Ha! I knew it!"

He spared a glance at her. He hated lying to Lily as she was his first friend, but this was the only way to protect his secret. He could live with her believing he was gay, knowing that she had already accepted him for that. The thought of her discovering his lycanthropy and then refusing to be his friend was too horrible for him to even consider.

"So," she started, sidling closer to Remus. "How are you planning to woo him?"

"What?"

"You're going to try to seduce him, right?"

Remus averted his gaze again, trying to keep his face a neutral shade for once this afternoon. "No, of course not."

"But  _why_?" Her whine carried through the library despite her softer tone.

"Because he's straight, so there's no point in even trying." Logic was good. He didn't have to lie to say this much at least.

"Oh, come on. Maybe you can convince him that you'd be perfect together. He has a soft spot for you after all. Everyone knows he treats  _you_  better than anyone else."

Deciding that running from the situation was the best course of action, Remus quickly stood up, haphazardly shoving his supplies into his book bag. "I should get going. See you later, Lily."

"This isn't over, Remus-dear!" she called after him as Remus made a quick escape.

It wasn't long before Remus found himself lying on his bed in the dormitory, staring pointedly up at his canopy. The red curtains weren't particularly interesting, but he knew there was no way he could study right now. Not with that stupid redhead putting those stupid thoughts into his head. Just the thought of goblin wars caused her stupid voice echo through his mind.

_'I do not fancy Sirius. That is preposterous. How could she even **think**  such a thing?"_

"Hey there, Rem. We missed you at the lake."

Remus looked towards the door to see James walking in, Sirius and Peter trailing behind. While they were all still wearing their shirts and trousers instead of swimming trunks, they were completely soaked from head to toe. Clearly the concept of towels or drying charms was lost on them.

"You really should join us next time," Sirius added as he crossed the dormitory, pulling off his drenched shirt and plopping it unceremoniously onto the floor in one soppy mess, water pooling along the stone tile. He shook his head in a rather canine gesture, his long hair smacking against his face and sending small beads of water loose upon the room.

"Yeah, the squid can be very – friendly." James waggled his eyebrows in a mock-seductive manner, causing Remus' dorm-mates to burst out laughing and Remus himself to roll his eyes.

"Does Evans know you feel that way about Squidy?" Sirius walked over and elegantly settled at the foot of Remus' bed, leaning back to prop himself up onto his elbows, head tilting to the side and a wicked grin on his face.

Remus pursed his lips as he noticed Sirius' water-logged pants seeping wetness into Remus' scarlet and gold comforter. "Sirius! Get off!" he demanded, pushing lightly against the other boys' bare torso with his left foot.

Sirius turned his head to look at Remus, his grin widening and a devious glean lighting in his eyes. "Get off? Right now? Where everyone can see me?"

Remus opened his mouth gaping like a fish out of water, his throat feeling suddenly dry. He shook his head, before scowling. "You know what I mean, Sirius. Get off of my bed. You're getting it all wet."

"But don't you like it when I'm on your bed?  _Everyone_ likes having me on their bed. And as for getting all wet -" he trailed off, his voice taking on a more flirtatious note.

Remus groaned. Sometimes he really hated how sure of himself Sirius was. It was almost impossible to have a serious conversation with him. No pun intended.

"You clearly need some enlightenment, my pompous friend. Let me show you just how nice it is having me on your bed."

Before he knew what was happening, Sirius pounced on top of Remus, wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller boy, ensuring that Remus was properly soaked before he finally rolled off and settled down next to him, that cheeky grin still plastered on his stupidly handsome face.

"Sirius!" Remus shrieked in a very unmanly manner. "Get off of my bed!"

Sirius managed a strangled shout before he found himself plopped on the floor with a sore buttocks, having been shoved violently off the bed by Remus.

Remus growled and stood up from the bed, prying open his trunk with much vigor. He pulled out a set of clean clothes and stormed to the bathroom, shooting a dark glare at his 'friends' who were currently laughing at him before slamming the door shut behind him.

Everyone knew Remus hated getting wet when he had clothes on. Clothes were meant to keep you dry, not make you wet. Additionally, it made the clothes incredibly difficult to get off when they stuck to your skin. It just wasn't proper.

Remus turned on the shower spigot to let the water warm up as he began fumbling with his now damp clothes. Once he was finally freed from his soggy-prison, he climbed into the steamy shower, intent on cleaning off the Great Lake filth that was certainly attempting to permanently imbed itself into his skin. As Remus began to lather himself with the cherry-almond scented soap his mother bought him for Christmas, he unfavorably found his mind wandering back onto Lily's suspicions.

_'I do not fancy Sirius. He is a bloke and I definitely do **not**  fancy blokes.'_

_'Then why did you watch him so hungrily when he pulled off his shirt? Why did your eyes linger on those well-toned muscles gracing Sirius' back? I know you enjoyed the way his long hair splayed across his face as he shook off.'_

Remus flushed, cursing those evil all-knowing thoughts that suddenly arose in his mind, defending Lily's argument.

"You do not know what you are talking about," he mumbled to himself.

_'Why did you get excited when Sirius landed gracefully on your bed? Leaning back like he belonged there. Why did your insides squirm with glee when he struck you with that charming grin you love so much? You enjoyed the way his skin felt when you touched him with your foot, didn't you?'_

"Shut it."

_'And what about when he laid on top of you? You know you enjoyed that even more. You longed for him to stay on you for just a moment longer. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, stroking his smooth skin and memorizing every inch of that tantalizing body.'_

"No, I did not!" Remus was so wrapped up in arguing with himself that he didn't notice his voice rising.

_'When you pushed him away, you let your fingers dance on his firm abdomen longer than you would have if it were anyone else.'_

"Stop, stop, stop!" There was a click reminiscent of a door closing.

_'You like it, don't you? The way those perfect hip bones just out above his trousers. That trail of delicate hair that just beckons you to look lower. You want him, Remus. Admit it.'_

"No, I do not!"

_'Oh, but you do. See? You are getting excited just thinking about it.'_

Remus looked down horror-struck to see that those intrusive thoughts were indeed correct. He could feel his face reddening again, and he bit his lip hard.

"Y-you are wrong." He refused to accept the fact that he was smitten over his very male friend. "I do not fancy Sirius."

He sighed in relief when those evil thoughts didn't retort, and he returned to his shower, trying to ignore what was currently taking place near his lower abdomen as he rinsed off.

"Remus?"

Remus jumped, a yelp escaping his mouth, and he quickly turned to face the shower curtain.

"You doin' alright?"

He recognized the voice as Sirius' and Remus blanched. How long had he been there?

"You're talking to yourself."

Remus barely managed to stutter a response. "Y-yeah. I – I am f-fine."

"You're beginning to sound like me, mate," Sirius said with a soft chuckle. "Sure we aren't related? You clearly have some of the patented 'Black Insanity' in you."

Remus heard the door close as his friend left, and he let out a soft sigh. He really hoped Sirius didn't hear that last bit, but he'd be foolish to believe that wasn't just wishful thinking.

* * *

**Word Count** **: 4190**


	2. Do Tell, Dearest Black

_"I do not fancy Sirius."_

That sentence had plagued Sirius' mind since he first heard Remus mumble it from the other side of the shower curtain. He never mentioned what he overheard to Remus or the other Marauders, but he hadn't been able to forget the incident from nearly six months ago.

It had been far too busy at the end of term to mull over the implications during their final exams, but over the summer vacation there was little else to occupy his mind than memories of his friends; especially the friend that would have an argument in the shower about whether or not he fancies Sirius.

It was possible that Remus had gotten into an argument with someone where the offender had insisted Remus had a crush on his friend, and Remus was still riled up about it to the point where he relived the fight in the shower. But a more logical tangent (in Sirius' opinion anyway), would be that his friend was simply in denial about having romantic feelings towards Sirius. Sirius was, after all, quite dreamy. It was completely possible for him to attract the attention of even the male students in school without even trying.

Everyone was beginning to settle back into life at Hogwarts, the fourth years already complaining about the increased workload that was being shoved upon them by the professors that no doubt strove to see them drown in a sea of litterature. While the first and second years were goofing off with various joke products and games while they gorged on sweets in the common room, the third through sixth years all had their noses burried in their assignments, while the seventh years wisely went to bed at a reasonable hour.

Of course, Sirius was not wasting his time with such nonsense as studying. All he had left to work on was transfiguration after all, and he could do that in his sleep. He lounged against one of the oversized armchairs close to the fire as he scanned the common room. James was dutifully working on a quiz in  _Which Broomstick?_  while occasionally stopping to help Peter with his homework with only the slightest show of annoyance. Remus was curled up on the floor next to the fire, a potions textbook resting on his lap and a smudge of dried ink on his fingertips.

As Sirius moved his gaze away from his friends, he could have sworn he saw Remus watching him, but looking back, noticed the boy casually flipping to the next page still devoutly reading the text in front of him.

"Hey there, handsome," Mary Macdonald cooed as she leaned against one of the arms of Sirius' chair. She batted her eyes in what she certainly believed to be a seductive manner as she twirled a thick brown curl around her finger.

He looked up at her through thick eyelashes, his lip curling up with the classic Black Family Charm that no one could resist. "Why hello, Macdonald. What can I do for you?"

Taking the question as an invitation, she siddled down into the tight spot to Sirius' left, her right leg draping over his lap. "You just looked so lonely, I thought I should keep you company." She leaned in close to him, the scent of the cauldron cakes she had eaten moments before wafting against his face. Mary placed her hand gently along his jawline, tugging him just enough in her direction, silently asking for him to close the distance as she moistened her mocha-painted lips with her tongue.

Sirius was tempted, he won't lie. While he knew that Macdonald would just be a fling and nothing more, she was still pretty, and it had been a long time since he'd snogged anyone. As he inclined his head in her direction, he heard the thump of a textbook being slammed shut.

Sirius glanced towards the fire to see Remus rising from his spot on the hearthrug, the potions book tucked under his right arm. His tawny hair was obscuring his face as he kept his eyes focused on the carpet, but as he walked briskly past Sirius' armchair towards their dormitory, he noticed irritation in his posture and clenched jaw.

Not taking into account his distraction, Macdonald attacked Sirius' mouth, momentarily causing him to forget his roommate's abrupt departure. She was definitely a tenacious one, and he was quickly reminded why he was so accepting of her advances. After all, in only a few years his mother would no doubt be forcing him to marry some stuck-up pureblood that he would be far too closely related to for comfort, so he might as well have as much fun as possible before that time came.

_"I do not fancy Sirius."_

There was that cursed thought again. If there was a chance that Remus _was_  in denial about having a crush on Sirius, Sirius would be a right jerk to make out with a girl right in front of the poor star-struck boy. Of course, Remus had escaped the situation, but who's to say he isn't upstairs bawling his eyes out while Sirius snogs some bird he cares nothing for?

Reigning in his libido, Sirius pushed Macdonald, who was now straddling him, off and stood up. He quickly waved away her indignant scoff before running to the dormitory to make sure Remus was alright.

The curtains were drawn on Remus' bed, but the glow of a lumos charm indicated that the boy was still awake and no doubt stuffing chocolates into his mouth to heal his wounded heart.

"Moony?" When there wasn't a response, Sirius let out a soft breath and walked over to Remus' bed, knocking gently on one of the posts. "Are you doing alright, Moons?"

There was an audible sigh from the other side of the curtains before they were pulled open and Remus glanced up at Sirius with only the faintest trace of annoyance in his amber eyes. "Of course I'm alright, Sirius. Is it not it obvious I came up here for peace and quiet?"

Sirius shrugged, unsure how to respond. He really hadn't thought peace and quiet was Remus' motive, but James had always insisted he was rubbish at reading Moony's mood-swings. Perhaps the overly-perky chaser was right about that accusation.

Remus peered over Sirius' shoulder, noticing his distinct lack of female companionship. "Where did Macdonald go?"

He shook his head in what he hoped to be an indifferent gesture. "I decided I'd rather spend time with you," he said with a grin. "All those girls are getting in the way of quality time with my fellow marauders."

Remus nodded skeptically. "Well, I still need to finish this chapter, so if you want quality time with me, you will just have to wait. Why don't you hang out with James? Last I checked he was wasting time instead of being responsible."

Sirius sat down on Remus' bed uninvited, peering down at the page Remus had his hand resting on. "Mate, we aren't even on that chapter yet! What are you trying to do? Read the whole textbook before we even get to Halloween?"

A flush spread across his face as he ducked his head, dropping his voice to a mumble. "You know I'm rubbish at potions. I need to get as much of a headstart as possible."

"Come on," Sirius urged, tugging the book away. "Over-studying won't do anything but wear you out. Let's play a round of exploding snap."

Remus reached for the book that was kept well out of reach, protesting weakly. "Come on Sirius! Give my book back!"

"Let's make a deal," he said, a mischievous grin adorning his features. "If you beat me, I'll let you study in peace."

He tutted with a scowl firmly fixed on his face. "So you intend to use extortion to get me to play?"

"Whatever works, Moony. You know I won't take no for an answer. You can either play with the hope that I will leave you alone, or you can attempt to study with me pestering you the whole time. Your choice."

Remus rolled his eyes dramatically. In all fairness, he really should be accustomed to Sirius' ridiculous demands by now. "Just get the blimming deck of cards."

* * *

In the following months, Sirius continued to maintain a distance from his usual female companions under the pretence that Remus was a sad love-struck fool. While he certainly knew he had no desire to be with Remus as Sirius was definitely straight, he didn't want to cause any undue heartache on the poor werewolf. He could at least wait until Remus had gotten over his crush and moved on to someone that would be able to reciprocate his feelings.

Since the beginning of the school year, Sirius had been paying much closer attention to his friend. Behaviors that he had always shrugged off before now seemed to stick out. When Remus would make a suggestion for an improvement to one of James' many prank schemes, he would watch Sirius as if wishing for approval from him more than anyone else. Whenever Sirius would laugh, a grin would creep onto Remus' face no matter what the other boy was doing, even when he would be on the complete opposite side of the room. After the full moon when Remus was still recovering from his injuries, he would ask for Sirius to stay by his side, almost always falling asleep on the other boy's lap, much to James' amusement.

What stood out the most though, was now that Sirius was looking for signs, he felt as though he was being watched by Remus. He had caught him a few times staring at Sirius whenever he would look up from his homework, but Remus always denied that he was staring, insisting that he had only just glanced up. There had also been a tremendous improvement in Remus' general air of happiness since Sirius had decided to stop fooling around with all the girls in school.

He knew that his first hunch was right. Remus hadn't just gotten into an argument with someone. He really did fancy Sirius, but was clearly in denial about it.

It was shortly after the winter holidays that Remus finally approached the other three marauders in their dormitory, saying that he had something important to tell them. After a long and rather uncomfortable silence spread throughout the room, he opened his mouth and blurted out what he had been so nervous to say.

"I'm gay," Remus said, his cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink. He knew it was foolish to be so nervous about the confession. These were, after all, the very same people that were still his friends after discovering that he was a werewolf. Surely him being attracted to the same gender as himself was nowhere near as terrifying as him turning into a slavering blood-thirsty beast every twenty-eight days.

Peter blinked in response while Sirius and James made eye contact with one another, clearly having one of their typical mental conversations.

"Well, yeah," Peter said, breaking the silence. "It's totally obvious."

The other three mauraders stared at Peter with equally dumb-struck expressions. After what felt like an eternity, James coughed.

"What do you mean, 'it's totally obvious'?" James choked out.

"Well, it is." Peter gestured wildly, like he was searching for some unknown source of wisdom. "I mean, he's never even looked twice at any of the birds, Remus is way too clean to be straight, and the amount of chocolate he consumes is on par with Alice Fortescue."

Sirius scowled. "That's profiling, Petey."

"But I'm clearly not wrong!"

Remus scrunched up his mouth, eyeing the floor in a nervous gesture.

"Hey look, Moony," James said, patting his shoulder consolingly. "It's okay mate, we aren't going to ditch you just cause you play for the other team. In fact, we should thank you. With you out of the field, that leaves a whole lot more girls for the three of us." He gave Remus one of his over-exaggerated winning smiles that were always far to infectious.

Remus snorted lightly, a grin threatening to spread across his face.

"So, uh," James started, clearing his throat. "Has anyone caught your eye?"

Sirius moved his focus from James to Remus, noticing the way those amber orbs devoutly avoided his eyes. Certainly Remus knew he didn't have to admit his feelings in front of the group. Sirius knew he would have to turn him down, and he would much rather do that privately when everyone wasn't watching the painful rejection that would certainly follow Remus' confession.

"Yes," Remus whispered, gnawing on his lip nervously.

"So, who is it?" James prompted, far too eager to play matchmaker.

Remus' gaze was now firmly set on the grout between the stone tiles on the floor. "It – well, he's someone in our year."

Here is was, the admission of love followed by the disappointing let-down. Sirius wanted to scream for the conversation to stop, but he couldn't. He knew that if this didn't happen now, James would just keep pestering Remus until he got the truth out of him. At least here Remus was safe; there were only the four of them involved. Who knew if James would next corner their friend somewhere more public like the common room or, worse yet, the great hall. No, this was where the conversation needed to take place. Sirius just needed to figure out the best way to tell his friend that, despite how much he cares for him and wants him to be happy, he is most definitely not attracted to him in that way.

James rubbed his hands together excitedly. "So, tell me about him! What's he like? Do I know him? Is he in our house? Oh! Do you need me to find out if he's interested in you before you make your declaration of love?"

Remus shook his head, his tawny hair obscuring his face slightly as the pink hue that had been adorning his cheeks turned into a bright red. "N-no, you don't need to do anything, but yes, James, you do know him."

"Well? What's he like? Tell me!"

"He has silky black hair, a nice jawline, beautiful eyes, a great build, lips that -"

Oh crap, he was certainly describing Sirius. It was too late now. Soon both James and Peter would know that Remus fancied Sirius, then Sirius would finally have to admit to being aware of this situation the whole time. He was quite surprised his silence this far into the conversation hadn't been noticed by anyone, but that definitely wouldn't last once they figured out that Remus was completely smitten with the sexiest of the mauraders. Correction, the sexiest man at Hogwarts. Maybe even in all of Europe. Yes, definitely all of Europe.

Seeing the glossy sheen that had begun to overtake Remus' eyes, James stopped him mid-sentence. "Please, don't go into a tirade about how sexy this guy must be."

"But you said - "

"I meant what's he  _like_? You know, his personality. Will this bloke fit into our group?"

Remus nodded, assuredly. "Oh, definitely. He's a lot like you."

Sirius still hadn't figured out what he could possibly say to calm down the situation. How was he to tell his friend that, while he is flattered and can completely understand that he could turn anyone gay, he simply wasn't interested in Remus in a romantic setting? He was completly at a loss, and there were only seconds to spare before everything came crashing down and he had to have the perfect words ready. The words that would keep their friendship in tact somehow.

"So, who is he?" James smiled kindly, tilting his head to the side. "I can definitely help set you two up."

Remus shook his head, "That's not necessary, James. I actually already have a date planned with him this weekend."

Sirius' eyes widened. This was a Hogsmede weekend, but he certainly didn't remember asking Remus out. He quickly scrambled through his mental log trying to see if there was anything he could have done to inadvertently cause Remus to think that he was inviting him on a date. He was now thoroughly screwed. He had led the poor boy on somehow, and now he would definitely be devastated. All hope of keeping their friendship in harmony slipped through his fingers as despair flooded his mind.

"Oh?" A mischievous twinkle sparkled in James' eye. "So who is this lucky man?"

Remus finally made eye-contact with Sirius for the first time since the conversation started. He offered Sirius a strained smile before looking back at James. "Edgar Bones."

"What?!"

Three sets of eyes turned to stare at the until-now silent Sirius who gaped, open-mouthed, at Remus.

"Edgar Bones? Seriously?" How could Remus possibly have agreed to a date with Edgar Bones when he was clearly infatuated with Sirius Black? Who in their right mind would choose that goody-two-shoes over him? The most eligible and smoking-hot fifteen-year-old at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? You don't just move on from Sirius to Bones. It's illogical!

"What," Remus started, irritation clear on his face, "you don't think I could land a guy like Edgar?"

Sirius froze up, realizing that his reaction may have been inappropriate. Even though he was surprised, he probably took it a little too far. "I just," he backpedalled, trying to correct his mistake. "I didn't realize that he was gay, is all," he finished lamely.

Anger quickly left his friend's face, though doubt was still present in those entrancing amber eyes.

"You didn't?" James asked, curiously. "Everyone in school knows that bloke is bent. He was outted at the beginning of last year."

Sirius was well aware of that incident. It had involved a great deal of hexes from his Hufflepuff classmates aimed at the Slytherins who dared to mock the young boy for being queer. He couldn't admit that though without revealing the truth, so he was forced to feign surprise. "No, I don't remember that."

This response seemed to work at bringing the attention off of Sirius, and he spent the remainder of the evening only pretending to listen as Remus explained how the other boy had asked him out to the easily excited James Potter.

Sirius was supposed to feel relieved that he didn't have to turn his friend down, but the only thing he felt at that moment was jealousy. It was completely baffling. He certainly had no desire to be with Remus like that, but he couldn't help but hate that another boy had caught the young werewolf's eye. What did that Hufflepuff have that he didn't?

_'An attraction to men,'_  the irritating voice in his head provided.

It shouldn't bug him, but it did. Bones didn't deserve someone like Remus. Remus deserved someone amazing, and Bones was just your average student. He didn't know Remus the way Sirius did, and he doubted that Bones would make him as happy as Sirius could. Worse yet, would he even still be there for Remus once he found out his secret?

When he couldn't take listening to Remus prattle on about his date plans with James any longer, Sirius excused himself to the library to finally work on his History of Magic essay that was due the next morning, no matter how uncharacteristic this behavior was. He ignored the odd glances his dormmates gave him as he slipped away, seeking an escape from his tangled emotions.

* * *

"What are you doing, Sirius?"

Sirius glanced briefly at James before returning to unfolding the invisibility cloak he had shoved under his robes before they left for Hogsmede earlier that afternoon. "Spying, of course," he replied as if it was the most obvious answer.

James tisked and rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yeah, but why? And on who?"

Sirius didn't reply, instead ducking into the shadows and sweeping the cloak over his body in a fluid movement that showed it wasn't his first time doing this.

"Sirius!" James hissed in the direction his best friend had disappeared from.

He felt a little bad leaving James in the dark, but he knew that if he admitted what he was up to, James would stop him. After all, how could he justify stalking one of their mates on a date?

After twenty minutes of scouring the village, he caught a flash of tawny hair and hustled over.

Remus was leaving Honeydukes with a decent-sized bag of chocolates while Bones had the  _nerve_  to hold the door open for him. The boy then reached forward, grasping Remus' free hand with his own, causing a shy smile to appear on the werewolf's face.

A scowl adorned Sirius' face as he stalked after the couple, uncaring as he pushed through other students who looked around curiously for the invisible person that had bumped into them. Sirius knew that he had to be careful for fear of having Jaems' cloak discovered and consequently taken into custody, but, right now, all he could focus on was how Bones was telling stupid jokes that Remus was actually laughing at. They weren't even funny! Clearly Remus had to be faking interest in this dull Hufflepuff he was walking with.

Next they stopped at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, where Bones no doubt was trying to appeal to Remus' love of all things chocolatey. Remus ordered a triple scoop, fudge dipped, chocolate custard with chocolate sprinkles in a chocolate coated waffle cone, while Bones had plain old pistachio custard in a cup. Sirius shook his head in disdain at the bloke's choice of dessert from his position on the other side of the shop window. Who eats pistachio ice cream when there are so many more interesting flavors to choose from. They are at Florean's for crying out loud! There's over three-hundred flavors to choose from  _including_ the best flavor ever, sparkling unicorn extreme.

As Remus licked the chocolate from his fingers, the ice cream long-since devoured, Bones watched him with a sly smile on his mouth. He reached forward, wiping a chocolately smudge from the corner of Remus' mouth with his index finger and sucked on it in a manner that was far too seductive for Sirius' liking. He saw the boy whisper somehting to Remus that caused a violent flush to overtake Remus' face as his eyes widened. Not being blessed with supernatural hearing, Sirius was unable to make out what Bones said through the thick glass, but he glared all the same.

Sirius spent the next three hours stalking after the two boys, his mood darkening as the day progressed. What Remus saw in Bones was completely beyond him. From what he could tell of the date, it was incredibly dull. They went into nearly every book shop in Hogsmede, visited the post office, Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, made a second trip to Florean's (where Bones got  _another_  cup of pistachio), and then went on a walk along the riverbed before it was time to head back to school. The two of them held hands nearly the entire trip, and Bones was constantly whispering into Remus' ear, causing him to giggle like a young school girl. It was completely sickening.

He followed them at a much more sedated pace as they joined the mass of students bustling through the Hogsmede gates back to the school, but maintained his vigilant watch on the couple. Sirius noticed Bones leading Remus to a secluded spot between a fence and a small shed just off the main road and tailed after them, far quicker than he had been earlier. There was only one reason that boy would be taking Remus away from the crowd, and Sirius nearly growled as he realized his suspicions about Bones were correct. Clearly Bones was planning on hurting Remus. He had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to get Remus alone so he could do something horrible to him like use the cruciatus curse.

"- really enjoyed our date." Sirius could just make out the end of Bones' sentence as he edged closer.

"Yeah, me too," Remus replied.

Was the nervous expression on Remus' face from fear, or something else? Sirius narrowed his eyes as he took a step closer, but wisely stopped about twenty paces away. He knew that Remus' sense of smell was better than the average person, and he wasn't so sure the young werewolf would appreciate Sirius spying on him, even though he was only doing it to keep him safe. He couldn't trust this Bones guy; he was definitely up to something rotten.

Bones bit his lip as he paused, clearly trying to come up with the best way to convince Remus to let his guard down. He was even worse than those Slytherin thugs. They would at least attack you from the shadows, where this guy wanted to convince Remus to trust him before striking. Despicable. "Do you – would you like to, um, you know -"

Remus tilted his head to the side in a distinctly canine gesture. While the boy was book-smart, he was definitely ill-experienced when it came to human interaction. Mind reading was not one of his specialties.

Bones cleared his throat before continuing, gathering his courage. "So, are we, like, boyfriends now? I'm sorry if it's too soon, I just, really enjoyed spending time with you, and I would like to do this more often. Is that, I mean, you don't have to-"

"Edgar," Remus said with a small laugh. "Yes. I would like to be your boyfriend."

Bones beemed, Remus smiled shyly, and Sirius scowled. He had a feeling scowling was becoming his new go-to expression.

"So then, is it okay if I kiss you?" The question was so quiet, Sirius almost missed it.

Remus inhaled sharply, obviously being caught off-guard. He gave a slight nod, rose blossoming on his cheeks.

Edgar placed his right hand under Remus' jaw, inclining the other boy's head towards his own as he leaned forward slowly, Remus leaning in as well, his eyes fluttering shut. Without thinking about his actions, Sirius lifted his wand and cast the first curse he could think of at Bones right before their lips met.

As black hair tickled Remus' nose, he blinked his eyes open and took a step back, making a strangled noise as he took in Bones with his head on backwards. Bones reacted even worse, completely freaking out as he tried to figure out what had happened to him.

Remus tried to console his  _boyfriend_  who was completely losing it, running in confused circles and stumbling over himself. Remus was insisting he take Bones to the hospital wing, that surely Madame Pomphrey would know how to fix it, that everything would be fine, but Bones was apparently more interested in figuring out who did this, yelling about homophobic bastards in Hogsmede.

Sirius felt a rough hand grip his left wrist through the thin material of the cloak and tug him away, back into Hogsmede, not stopping until they were in the center courtyard. With his wrist finally freed of the vice-grip and the tugging no longer threatening to make him fall face-first onto the dirt road, Sirius righted himself, pulling the cloak off and giving James his best bewildered expression.

"How did you know where I was?"

At the question, James' already hard glare intensified from the other side of his spectacles. "Because I saw the trail of magic come from your wand when you hexed Bones, you prat!"

"Oh." Sirius' expression blanked. He supposed it was to be expected that James had also curiously followed Remus and Bones when he noticed the two of them wander into a deserted location. He hadn't thought that there would be an additional bystander to that specific event. He wasn't sure whether he should be moved by James' brotherly protection, or affronted by his keen interest in Remus' personal affairs. Lupin Watching was  _his_ thing.

"What were you thinking?!" James yelled, completely uncaring about bystanders.

Sirius sputtered, as if the answer was obvious. "That prick was trying to kiss Moony," he exclaimed, arms waving for emphasis.

"From where I was standing, it looked like Moony  _wanted_  him to."

Sirius scowled, refusing to accept that Remus would ever want to kiss someone as lame as Bones.

"Just what is your problem? You've been acting off all week, and now you've literally wasted your Hogsmede trip by  _spying_  on Moony's date? Then, as if just creepily watching them wasn't enough, you went and  _ruined_  what was most likely Moony's first kiss! What has gotten into you, mate?"

Sirius flushed, pursing his lips. He hadn't thought about that being Remus' first kiss, but he supposed it was obvious in hindsight. What was meant to be a special moment for Remus, Sirius turned into a truly horrific memory. No doubt poor Remus would be scarred for life.

"Do you have some problem with Moony's sexuality? Are you hell-bent on ruining  _any_  relationship he has?"

He shook his head fervently. "What? No! Of course I don't have a problem with Moony's preferences. He's  _Moony_!"

James gave him an expression that said Sirius had better come clean or there would be hexing in the very near future. Obviously fishing for answers was wearing out James' patience.

Sirius sighed dramatically. "It's just that Bones isn't good enough for him. He deserves someone better than that pompous teacher's pet."

"Is that so?" The glare didn't lesson on James' face, much to Sirius' surprise. "He deserves someone better than a kind-hearted, hard-working, polite young man that seems to take a genuine interest in him?"

"Exactly!" Sirius agreed, pleased to see that James was finally coming around.

James scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. He rubbed his eyes in a way that resembled a weary parent before deciding to go along with Sirius' argument. "So if Bones isn't good enough for him, just who would be worthy of Moony's affection?" he asked, the skepticism clear on his face.

"Someone fun and carefree, extremely handsome, great at playing Quidditch, of course. Someone that's good at school but not in that nerdy way that Bones is, and that can look past our Moony's furry-little-problem. Someone that would take care of him when he isn't feeling well. That feeds him lots of chocolate, would remind him not to stay up too late working on homework," Sirius grasped for more qualities that this perfect man needed to have, coming up far too short for his liking. After all, Remus deserved the perfect boyfriend, not just some average Joe. "You know, someone like me."

He rose an eyebrow. "Someone like you?"

"Yeah," he nodded in affirmation. "I am pretty perfect if I do say so myself."

"But you're straight."

There was a long pause between them and Sirius could almost see the cogs turning in James' mind as his hazel eyes sharpened in deep concentration, carefully analyzing the events over the past several months. This expression was almost a staple when he would be solving a hard transfiguration problem or when trying to figure out a mystery, such as Remus' lycanthropy, and Sirius wasn't entirely sure he liked where James' thoughts were no doubt going at the moment.

"Someone  _like_  you," James started, pausing for effect as his eyes resumed their normal intensity, "or  _you_?"

Sirius blinked.

"You fancy Remus, don't you?"

"What? No! Of course I don't!" He cursed himself for the blush that crept up on him when he wasn't paying attention.

"Blimey, you actually fancy Remus!"

"Don't be ridiculous James," Sirius scoffed, turing on his heel and heading back towards the gates leading to Hogwarts, James hot on his trail.

"That would explain why you've been in a pissy mood ever since he mentioned his date with Bones, as well as why you recently took up your old habit of Lupin Watching that you gave up once we discovered his you-know-what. Don't even try to deny it, Sirius, even Peter has noticed you staring at him intently all year. It would also explain why you suddenly started pushing all the girls away instead of sneaking off with them like you usually do. No one just suddenly stops playing around unless something big happens, such as suddenly realizing you want to play for the other side."

Sirius shot a glare over his shoulder at the other boy before speeding up his pace, determined to return to the castle faster so James would stop talking so openly about this issue. Not that it was an issue. It was a complete fabrication of James' imagination.

"You _have_  always been a bit more effeminate than a normal bloke is anyway, but I just figured you really cared about your hygeine. It's so obvious now though. I mean, no straight man takes an hour to brush his hair and has a five-cycle conditioning regimen. And don't even try to deny that you use mud masks on your face once a week. I've seen it, Sirius."

"It's perfectly acceptable to take care of yourself," he grumbled. "You're wrong though, James. I do  _not_ fancy Remus. I'm into girls."

"Oh, really? Then why did you fight off Meadowes last week with a baguette?"

Sirius stopped and turned around to face James, his eyebrow furrowed. "Because she wouldn't take no for an answer! What does that have to do with Moony?"

"I'm just saying, you suddenly stopped accepting female advances for no apparent reason. Clearly you've realized you have feelings for Moony, and that is what made you not interested in girls anymore, am I right?"

He opened his mouth to deny the accusation, but realized if he told James it was to avoid hurting Remus' feelings, it would eventually lead to what he overheard Remus say in the shower last year. While he wanted to get James off his case, he felt as if telling him about Remus being in denial about liking Sirius would be a betrayal of some sort. He scowled, not knowing what excuse he could possibly come up with.

"See! It's because you prefer blokes!" James said in victory. "I knew it!"

Sirius huffed in annoyance, as James cheekily walked past him, leading the way to Hogwarts.

Sirius chewed on the side of his mouth, in frustration before following after the other boy. "I do not fancy Remus," he mumbled to himself, trying to ignore all the logic that James had laid out for him.

* * *

**Word Count: 5755**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't actually hate pistachio ice cream and I don't mean to offend any die-hard fans that particular flavor may have.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the second installment. I tried a slightly different style than I'm used to with mixing in the character's personal opinion with the narration, but hopefully it was still easy to follow. Naturally, Sirius has to be a little full of himself.
> 
> Just to clarify, Sirius is not homophobic. In this chapter he is upset about the fact that Remus is attracted to someone that isn't him, but he is a bit slow to realize that is his issue. Naturally, you would be disguisted by someone you fancy being with someone else no matter the sexuality as that person belongs to you. Or at least that's my experience.
> 
> Please review!
> 
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated.


	3. I Think I Fancy You

Remus wasn't stupid; he knew full-well that Sirius had been keeping a close eye on him during the first few months of school. It was clear that he didn't intend on shunning Remus as he had originally feared, but he was definitely trying to analyze him.

All-in-all, what the other boy over-heard wasn't entirely bad. 'I do not fancy Sirius' is just that – Remus doesn't fancy Sirius.

The constant watching however, showed that Sirius was trying to determine if this was the truth, or a lie, which meant that if Remus didn't want to get found out, he needed to be extremely careful with the way he behaved in front of Sirius.

Ever since that fateful encounter with Lily Evans, his blossoming affections for the other boy seemed to unfurl before his very eyes. It had been so easy to dismiss when he wasn't aware that it was there, but now it was all he could see. He really had made the stupidest mistake he could have ever made. He had unintentionally become smitten with Sirius Black, the infamous lady killer of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

It was hard to control his emotions whenever he was in close proximity to Sirius. The boy literally had no sense of personal space and was constantly using Remus as either an elbow rest or an ottoman. While Remus certainly didn't mind, it did cause undue strain when trying to ignore his growing desires as well as maintain the visage that there was no desire to begin with.

It was over the Christmas holidays when Edgar first approached Remus while he was finishing up his holiday homework in the library. Remus hadn't intended on dating anyone, but when he gave Remus that hopeful smile and asked if he would like to go with him on the next Hogsmede weekend, Remus saw no reason why he shouldn't. After all, pining after Sirius wasn't going to do him any good, and accepting the affections of another boy should certainly get the older Marauder to stop watching him so closely.

Unfortunately, instead of lessening his investigative streak, Sirius actually increased his intensity. The days leading up to the Hogsmede weekend were extremely tense for Remus. Those gray eyes only ever stopped boring into the back of his head whenever they would close for sleep or occasionally glance at the food on his plate. Remus had grown so paranoid about being watched that he could have sworn he felt Sirius watching him as he walked through Hogsmede with Edgar, though his invisible stalker was nowhere in sight.

The afternoon with Edgar had been a wonderful experience. While it was true that the other boy was nowhere near as gorgeous, funny, or charming as Sirius, he had his own good qualities, such as his manners, tender-heartedness, and his affinity for history, particularly goblin warfare.

Oh, who was Remus kidding?  _Goblin warfare_? How could anyone actually enjoy that dull subject? It was almost all Edgar talked about, and just about every joke he told was in reference to one of the commanders that led the various goblin invasions. It took almost every ounce of Remus' acting abilities to laugh at those  _stupid_  jokes.

He mentally chided himself for judging Edgar for his idiotic passion, shaking his head as he did so. Everyone had at least something about them that made them less desirable. If he expected Edgar to be able to look past his lycanthropy one day, then certainly Remus could look past Edgar's ridiculous obsession with goblins, as well as his lack of good taste in ice cream flavors.  _Pistachio_?  _Really_? Who orders pistachio when Florean's has over fifty varieties in chocolate alone?

Fortunately, Madame Pomphrey had been successful in restoring Edgar's head from that hex from Hogsmede with relative ease. She mentioned that it was definitely not her first case, which did little to ease Edgar's indignation.

Even five days after the event, he was still complaining about whoever the mysterious hexer was. While Remus certainly did feel bad about what happened, the complaints got old rather quickly. James and Sirius were hexed all the time, and sure, they would complain for a few hours, but they would eventually just laugh it off. It was part of the whole Hogwarts experience after all, and with a capable mediwitch at hand, there was no real harm.

...oOo...

It had been three weeks.  _Three weeks,_  and Remus was still dating that disgusting Bones bloke. Sirius scowled at the two of them as they cuddled together on the couch in the common room. It was revolting. How had Remus not grown tired of him yet? The boy was completely dull! Furthermore, he was a Hufflepuff and had no business being in  _their_  common room.

"I'm going to report him."

"What? Who?" Peter looked up quizzically from his divination book.

"Bones, obviously," Sirius replied matter-of-factly.

"For what?" James asked, his voice thick with judgment.

"For being in our common room. Other houses aren't allowed in each other's common rooms. Only their own."

James stared at him over the top of his glasses, consternation visible in his hazel eyes. "Oh really? So how do you explain Diggory, Matthews, Patil, Graham, Davis, and who am I forgetting Peter?"

"There was that blonde girl from Ravenclaw and the Head Girl from two years ago. She was a Slytherin, wasn't she?"

"Ah, right. Sharp and Patterson. Oh, and there was also-"

"Okay, okay!" Sirius shouted, stopping the list he knew could go on for at least another three minutes.

"I'm just saying," James continued, nudging Sirius playfully in the shoulder. "You've definitely brought your fair share of other house lady friends in here, mate."

"Yeah, but this is different."

"How come," Peter asked, closing his book and edging closer, clearly more interested in the conversation than his homework.

"Sounds to me like Sirius is jealous," James said, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Jealous of who?" Peter asked, successfully stopping their back and forth.

"Nobody," Sirius supplied, far too quickly to be convincing.

Peter narrowed his eyes in suspicion before following Sirius' gaze across the room. His eyes widened as he realized just who Sirius was looking at. "Great Godric! You fancy Moony!"

"What?!" Sirius sputtered, glancing around nervously to make sure no one overheard Peter's nearly shouted exclamation. "No I don't! Don't be ridiculous!"

"He does," James countered sagely.

"Do not," Sirius insisted, crossing his arms and adapting a pout.

"Well it's either him or Bones, and the way you've been complaining about Bones lately, that's highly unlikely."

"Peter's got a point," James agreed, nodding his head.

Sirius huffed as he stood up from his seat. "I need new friends," he declared before storming up the stairs into the forth-year dormitory.

Ever since the Hogsmede trip, James had refused to let slide what happened that day, constantly reminding him about his new theory. Sirius didn't think a single day had passed without James hinting at Sirius' questioned sexuality.

He knew James was wrong about him though, so why did it bother him so much? He wasn't attracted to Remus. At least not sexually. Sure he would admit Remus was a good looking guy, but so was James, and Sirius would definitely never wank off to James. Just the thought was rather disturbing.

His dislike of Bones and Remus being together had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he fancied Remus, because he didn't. He just didn't like the thought of Bones touching Remus. He didn't want to see that creep cuddling with Remus. He especially didn't want to see him kissing Remus. Remus belonged to Sirius.

Sirius froze. That thought had come so naturally to him, but why? He didn't want Remus like that. Right?

He shook his head. This was just because James had gotten inside his mind. James and his stupid insistence that Sirius fancied Remus. He was messing with him, making him doubt whether he was really as straight as he believed he was. All he had to do was reassure himself that he definitely was attracted to women, and  _only_  women.

He nodded as his plan came to fruition. Sirius padded over to James' trunk, hefting the lid up. After rooting through the mess of quidditch supplies, dirty socks, sweets wrappers, and various prank items, he found what he was looking for. He pulled out the little wooden box, setting it down on top of the bedspread before casting an engorgio charm on it. The box increased to the size of a textbook and Sirius flicked it open after saying the password 'Lily has pretty eyes'. Sirius found it amusing that James' password for his Playwizard collection was a childish compliment about his life-long crush.

He pulled the top copy out before returning the box to it's home at the bottom of James' trunk. Sirius had never had the need to use a magazine before as he'd always had ample access to the real thing, but lately the thought of flirting with any of the girls at school just didn't appeal to him. It was probably because he had been too busy watching Remus that it threw him off kilter. Certainly that was nothing to worry about. Right?

Sirius crawled into his own bed, pulling the curtains closed and casting a silencing charm before perusing through the magazine. He flicked through the glossy pages, vaguely noticing the scantily clad witches waving and batting their eyes flirtatiously. He supposed they were pretty, but none of them really caught his eye enough to ogle at.

He was about two-thirds of the way through the magazine when he felt his breath catch and he stopped, gaping at the glorious sight before him. Two red-haired witches, presumably twins, were straddling the most magnificent shiny contraption Sirius had ever laid his eyes on. He peered closer, trying to make out what this silver and black thing was. It clearly looked muggle, and it had those big rubber circle things he'd seen on 'cars' while walking through muggle London with Peter last summer. There were only two rubber circles though, and he was pretty sure all cars were supposed to have four.

Sirius moved his eyes towards the bottom of the page where there were small words printed on the bottom of the photograph. After a fruity description of the girls (that were indeed twins) was a brief sentence naming the muggle contraption a 'Honda CB750 Motorcycle'. Now having a name for this beautiful creature, Sirius moved his gaze back to the image, annoyed that those stupid girls were refusing the remove their legs from the front of the bike.

He prodded at them with his finger in an attempt to make them to move, which they returned with a rude gesture as they scowled at him. Sirius sighed in resignation. He would just have to ask Peter more about those beautiful 'motorcycles' next time he saw him. Maybe he could even convince Peter to write home requesting a muggle magazine on 'motorcycles' for Sirius.

Finally remembering the purpose of looking through the magazine, he skimmed through a few more pages, stopping when one of the girls near the end of the book caught his eye. She had her bare back turned to him as she peered over her shoulder with a shy blush on her face. Her light brown hair was cut short in a pixie style, and her eyes were almost the color of caramel. She was alarmingly cute as she nibbled on the end of a quill while looking back at him.

Sirius grinned. Yes, she would definitely do. He was relieved to find at least one witch in this magazine attractive. The closer he had gotten to the end, the more worried he had grown. There was no way he just wasn't interested in girls anymore. That wasn't something that happened overnight.

He began pleasuring himself as he stared lustfully at the bare skin on the page, imagining what it would feel like running his hands along that soft back. The girl bit her lip as she watched him, wiggling her butt in an adorable fashion before licking the end of the quill she was still fiddling with. Sirius' eyes fluttered closed, visualizing the way that tawny hair would look splayed on a pillow, those nearly golden eyes filled with desire, the way that soft voice would sound moaning his name. He imagined kissing that lithe neck, and the way it would feel to have that pink tongue licking his own torso.

It wasn't long before he knew he was ready to burst. Not worried about being found out thanks to silencing charms, he allowed himself to moan as he reached climax. He clutched at the bed covers with his free hand, the magazine all but forgotten as the images came freely in his mind now. It was surprisingly easy to visualize just what he wanted to do to that sexy body.

With a force he hadn't felt in a long time, Sirius released his load, a single name slipping through his lips as he came.

"Remus."

He stilled, his breathing labored as his blood worked to return to his brain. That was certainly not a name he should say in this setting. He had read that girl's name, too. He knew she was called 'Tatiana', so why did he call Remus' name?

After cleaning up his mess with a wave of his wand, he looked back at the witch on the page, noticing the annoyingly knowing grin she was shooting his way. Taking another moment to look at her, he realized just how much she resembled Remus. If he didn't know Remus was an only child, he would have thought the girl was a long-lost sister.

"Shit," he muttered, closing the magazine and laying back on the bed. As he mused over what had happened, he also realized he never once imagined the front side of the girl. He had also visualized her with more amber colored eyes, slightly shaggier hair, and a more masculine jaw structure. As if that wasn't condemning enough, the moaning he imagined hearing sounded distinctly like Remus.

Sirius groaned as he buried his face into his pillow. "I can't believe I just got off to Remus," he moaned to himself. As much as he wanted to deny James' assumptions about him, he certainly couldn't deny what he just did.

He truly was bent after all.

...oOo...

When Sirius explained his new found revelation to James the next day in the dormitory whilst Remus was safely tucked away in ancient runes, James was, to say the least, not impressed. He rolled his eyes and huffed, stating that he knew all this already, and that the conversation was a complete waste of his time. Naturally, the only proper response from Sirius was to point out that it was James' responsibility to listen to Sirius prattle on about Remus, as all James ever talked about was how amazing and wonderful Evans was and how enamored with the disinterested girl he is. The least James could do was be a supportive friend like Sirius was to him.

"Supportive?" James crowed, rolling his eyes again. "You think mocking me and going out of your way to make me look like a dunce in front of Lily is being supportive?"

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "Okay, enough about Evans. Now help me figure out how to win over Moony!"

He sighed in exasperation, shaking his head as he ruffled his hair for the twelfth time in the past hour. "Well, for one thing, your plan to sabotage his relationship with Bones is not on."

"How so? I see nothing wrong with charming Bones to only speak profanities and making his pecker shrivel to the size of a peanut. He deserves no less for trying to steal my Moony."

"He didn't steal Moony from you!" James gave Sirius an irritated look one would reserve for an ignorant child. "Moony was single when Bones asked him out. Maybe if you had been quicker to realize your feelings for him, you could have asked him out first."

"Irrelevant," Sirius said with a toss of his hand.

"Look, forget about hexing Bones, alright. Why don't you just try to show Moony what a great boyfriend you could be? Maybe convince him that you're a better choice than Bones, and then he'll just break up with him on his own?"

"That sounds like a lot of work."

"Look, mate. Do you want him to date you or not?"

"I do, but-"

"Then you need to make an effort. Moony isn't going to know you're interested if you just sit here whining about him not being with you."

Sirius grumbled, kicking at the floor. James did make a fair point after all. As far as Remus knew, Sirius wasn't interested in being any more than a friend with the other boy. Perhaps James' idea to show what a great boyfriend he could be would work. And if Bones just so happened to find himself on the wrong end of a hex, well, who's to say it came from Sirius? After all, everyone knew some of the more bigoted Slytherins hated the fellow queer.

...oOo...

"Ugh!" Remus exclaimed, throwing his book bag onto his bed before plopping himself face-first beside said bag and groaning into the comforter. "Just  _what_ has gotten into that blimming head of his?"

James and Peter cocked an eyebrow as they examined the clearly frustrated Remus Lupin from their positions on their respective beds.

"Who's head?" Peter inquired politely.

"Sirius!" he practically shouted, sitting up to look at them properly. The teenager in question was currently stuck in detention for having sent a jelly-legs hex at Remus' unsuspecting boyfriend in front of Professor Flitwick. "The way he's been behaving lately is completely uncalled for. If I didn't know any better, I would say he's jealous!"

James pursed his lips, trying to engross himself in the transfiguration book that was opened in front of him.

"Why is he so hell-bent on hexing Edgar?" Remus asked, narrowing his eyes at James, noticing the way the other boy didn't want to participate in this conversation; a clear indicator that he knew exactly what the problem was.

"Maybe he just doesn't like him?" James shrugged, refusing to look up from the text.

"Sirius doesn't like Severus either, but he's passed up plenty of opportunities to hex him in lieu of hexing Edgar, and you know it. He's obviously more interested in targeting my boyfriend than his self-declared arch nemesis, and Edgar insists he didn't do anything to invoke his ire."

"I don't know what to tell you."

" _James_?"

James bit his tongue as a sheen of sweat coated his forehead. There were only two people in the entire school that could be considered scarier than Professor McGonagall: Lily Evans and Remus Lupin. Despite being faced with a terrifying and skeptical werewolf, there was no way he could allow himself to betray his best friend's secret.

"Tell me what you know."

"I don't know anything!" he said all too loudly to be convincing.

Remus growled, startling James when he saw just how close the other boy had gotten to him without noticing Remus had even stood up.

James made a very undignified squeak before evacuating the room in a flurry, quickly making his way to the safety of the common room.

Remus sighed before sitting down on James' trunk, clearly annoyed at having lost out on one of the golden opportunities to have a conversation with James without Sirius tagging along. He was smart enough to know that James knew exactly what Sirius was up to, and if he wanted to be able to have any peace of mind, he needed to figure out what that boy was planning and why he had suddenly grown a vendetta against the Hufflepuff forth year.

"I think you're right, Moony."

Remus looked over towards Peter who he had admittedly forgotten was there. "About what?"

"About Sirius being jealous."

Remus furrowed his brow. "Nah, that's ridiculous. Sirius has no reason to be jealous. It's not like I don't still hang out with you guys. Edgar doesn't take up that much of my time. Especially since most of our dates involve studying in the library, which I would be doing anyway."

Peter shook his head, blue eyes suddenly bright, clearly pleased that he knew something that had gone unnoticed by Remus. "No, think about it. Hasn't he been acting odd lately even without all the hexing?"

Remus scrunched up his face as he tried to figure out what Peter was implying.

"Haven't you noticed how he's been sitting with you in class instead of James? Or those times he tried pulling the chair out for you before you yelled at him to stop treating you like a girl?"

"Well, I suppose – but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Or how he's been carrying your books between classes?"

"He's always done that though," Remus countered.

"Yeah," Peter agreed, scratching his head in thought, mussing up his blond hair in the process. "But usually only around the full moon. Ever since Christmas, he's been helping you with your books almost every day, regardless of how you're feeling."

"Oh. I guess I didn't think about it," he replied quietly.

"Then last night when they ran out of chocolate cake before you got any, he gave you his slice," he continued, a proud smile lighting his features. Peter was clearly enjoying being on the teaching end for once.

"Yeah, but he was just being nice."

"When is Sirius ever nice for no reason?"

"He's nice to his friends, at least."

"Not that nice. Last year when James broke his arm after the first game of the year, Sirius didn't  _once_  offer to help him carry his books. Then when I dropped my pudding on my birthday, Sirius just laughed at me and didn't offer to share his, even though there was none left. We're his friends too, but he definitely has a favorite amongst us, and I think you know it."

"Well," Remus started, trying to ignore the blush that was threatening overthrow his face. "He's just being protective, I guess. Maybe he feels bad about him and James picking on me so much during first year."

"He's also been staring at you a lot lately. And not in that analyzing way he used to do back when he was trying to work out your furry little problem, but more in a 'I really want to grab you and kiss you' kind of way."

"W-what?" he spluttered. "No! No he hasn't!"

Peter grinned. "There's also something else," he said before walking over to Sirius' nightstand. He rooted around until he found the black leather journal that Sirius kept in there. Peter tapped it with his wand as he whispered the password, and flipped to one of the more recent entries of the journal.

"You've been reading his journal?" Remus asked incredulously. "How'd you even figure out the password?"

Peter gave Remus a slightly sheepish smile. "Well, I was bored," he said as if that excused his invasion of privacy, making Remus secretly glad he didn't keep a journal himself. "As for the password, it was rather easy. It's 'toujours pur'."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Look, I don't want any part in this, Peter. Put the journal back."

"But, Remus! Look!"

Peter thrust the journal in Remus' face and, despite his best intentions to look away, the doodle that took up a good portion of the page caught his eye, and he found himself unable to pull his gaze from it. Sirius had drawn a rather swirly heart with the letters 'SB & RL' written inside it.

"Is that-" he gasped.

"See?" Peter said, the smugness dripping from his voice. "He's definitely jealous."

Remus' lungs constricted, and the room swirled around him as he struggled to breathe. There was no way this was happening. How could Sirius be jealous that Remus was in a relationship with someone else? Why would Sirius even want to be with someone like Remus? Sirius was a perfectly manicured pureblood, and Remus was a mangy half-breed from a poor family. It didn't make sense at all, and there were only two logical explanations for this. Remus had to have found a portal to another dimension, or Sirius had finally succumbed to the famous Black Family Insanity.

"Remus?" Peter carefully put the journal back in it's home before sitting tentatively next to Remus, setting a hand on his shoulder. "Remus, are you alright, mate?"

"This, this isn't right," he whispered. Or at least he thought he was the one that whispered the words. To be honest, he couldn't even feel his own body at the moment.

"What's not right?"

"How? Why? I don't-"

Whatever Remus was going to say would remain a mystery however, as he chose that exact moment to pass out from lack of oxygen, falling off of James' trunk like a rag doll.

...oOo...

If you were to ask Remus, he would have told you the breakup was inevitable. With Sirius constantly harassing Edgar at every turn, the strain on their relationship had become almost unbearable for both parties. On Remus' end because he had to constantly listen to Edgar complain about one of his dear friends, and on Edgar's end because his boyfriend couldn't convince his friend to stop hexing him.

Despite knowing that they wouldn't last long, it still hurt when Edgar finally left him after almost two and a half months. It had been nice having a boyfriend, but even Remus knew he was kidding himself about liking the fellow classmate. He was under no illusions that his heart belonged to Sirius Black and, based on the evidence given to him by Peter, the feeling was mutual.

Remus noticed over the week that followed the break up, Sirius had suddenly become more, dare he say, shy around Remus. He dutifully continued his obsessive assisting of the young werewolf whenever the opportunity arose, but he refused to be alone with him and barely spoke with Remus unprompted.

While this was mainly due to nerves, a fear of messing their friendship up, and the constant meaningful stares from James saying not to pounce on Remus immediately after a breakup, Remus was oblivious to the true meaning behind Sirius' distance. He began to wonder if perhaps Sirius hadn't been jealous at all of Remus and Edgar, (ignoring the fact that the hexing had abruptly stopped) and that he may be smitten on some other R.L. in school. Rowena Longfellow perhaps? True, she was only a second year, but she was definitely pretty. R.L. could also stand for Rodolphus Lestrange, an eerily attractive Slytherin that had graduated three years prior, but Sirius could certainly still have connections to. Remus shuddered at the thought. Surely the Black heir had better taste than that psychopath.

It was a Saturday afternoon where, once again, his friends had found themselves lake-bound while Remus promised himself he would get some work done in the library. Unfortunately, Remus hadn't been able to move from his spot on the bed, sulking away like some lovesick teenage girl. He felt stupid, but he couldn't help himself. He had been unable to stop thinking about that annoyingly handsome and arrogant boy he had thought was smitten over him, but was evidently not. One would think somewhere over the course of the nine days that Remus had been single for, Sirius would have at least  _hinted_  at being interested in him. It would seem that Peter had been wrong in his earlier assessment.

Remus let out a low groan as he buried his head in his hands, elbows digging into his knees. He was being stupid. He knew it would be impossible to earn Sirius' affections, so why had he even bothered getting his hopes up? This was all Peter's fault.

Soft footfalls approached him, almost missed by Remus' sensitive ears, before the weight of someone sitting beside him on the bed alerted him fully of his friend's presence.

"Hey Moons."

Remus stiffened, recognizing the voice as Sirius'. He kept his head in his hands, not wanting Sirius to see his face that was undoubtedly unattractive after an hour of crying. "I thought you went down to the lake," he mumbled through his hands.

Sirius chuckled softly. "And I thought you went down to the library."

When Remus didn't respond, Sirius sighed, placing a comforting hand between Remus' shoulder blades.

"What's wrong Moony?"

He shook his head. "Nothing's wrong."

He scowled, trying to pry away Remus' hands. "Do you miss him?"

Remus didn't miss the hint of anger in Sirius' question. "No, it's not that," he breathed. Deciding to come out of hiding, he took a deep breath before wiping his eyes on his jumper and offering a forced smile to Sirius.

Noticing the tear-streaked face of his friend, Sirius gasped, grabbing at one of Remus' hands with his free hand. "Remus! Who hurt you? What's wrong? Tell me who to hex!"

Remus shook his head at Sirius' insistence on aggression. It was especially amusing as the instigator of his current situation was the man determined on seeking revenge. "No, you don't need to hex anyone."

"What happened, Rem?" His voice was soft, those storm cloud eyes intense as they looked at Remus with fierce determination. At some point, the hand that had been resting on his back had moved to his cheek, Sirius' thumb gently stroking at the tear tracks he found there.

Remus took in a shaky breath. "I just-" he faltered. The thought of saying his feelings out loud was terrifying, but even if he scared off Sirius, he knew his friend wouldn't abandon him altogether. He was certain of that much at least. "I thought you had feelings for me," he whispered.

His lips parted in surprise, eyes widening ever so slightly. "You did?"

He chewed on his lip, the pink flesh turning white from the pressure. "Yes. I know it's stupid to think-"

"No," Sirius cut him off. "It isn't stupid."

Remus watched him carefully.

"I do have feelings for you," he said softly, a slight tremor in his voice. "It's just that James said that I should give you some time before-"

For once in his life, Remus didn't bother thinking before acting as he lunged for Sirius, cutting him off effectively by pressing his lips to the other boy's mouth. Sirius gasped at the sudden contact before sliding his hand easily into Remus' tawny hair, his arm wrapping around Remus' waist as Remus moved to straddle him.

The kiss was clumsy and filled with uncertainty, but neither of them could deny just how  _right_  it felt to touch each other so intimately. As Remus gained confidence, he gently prodded at Sirius' lips with his tongue, easily coaxing Sirius to open his mouth, deepening the kiss.

At some point they had fallen back onto the mattress, Remus resting his head against Sirius' forehead, both panting for the air they had forsaken for so long. He grinned wolfishly at Sirius who had a very satisfied smile and a deep blush along his high cheekbones.

"I think it's safe to say I definitely fancy you, Remus Lupin."

Remus chuckled, planting a soft kiss on Sirius' nose. "And I would hope you can tell that I fancy you, Sirius Black."

...oOo...

**Word Count: 5333**


End file.
